Ariadne Waved

Her silence is telling. I've seen dreams die before, held them in my hands as they gasped out their final breath. I don't hate her for it, on the contrary, a part of me always knew it would end like this. She waves as I pull away. I don't wave back. I just let that part of me fall to ash, another little death to forget. That's the one thing she never understood about me. I will forget, because I don't have a choice. Compartmentalize it somewhere that I can afford to lose. I don't die, I adapt.

     That's not to say it was trivial to me, quite the opposite in fact. Just that I've only ever had me, even when she was right there, I was still alone. I always am. All the company in the world won't change that. That's not to say I didn't love her, in truth I always will. I just know that it's not reciprocated in the same way. I mean, it's fairly obvious that she loves me, though by my own definition I'd call it caring before love. I've always been a creature of passion, I've always held close the idea of true love. I don't think she even believes in it, or if she does, she decided a long time ago that I wasn't that for her.

     So I let go, I'll wear her hate. I know she'll probably never talk to me again, but what do you do when you feel something for someone so strongly that you can't focus in their presence, something so powerful that all you want to do is see them smile. A true smile, not the plastic ones we all wear to convince the world we feel better than we do. So this is me, doing what is best for her even if it kills me inside. That's what love is, I won't even feel the wound, because I earned it righteously, for once. I chose the right path in letting go of the one I love. So that she can be happy, so that she can find someone that makes her feel the way she makes me feel. So I left, and as soon as I was out of sight, I waved back.

So this is goodbye, old friend

You've been the only one at my side through this

I don't know how I'll go on

Just that I will

So this is goodbye, my love

You've been the only one to see me through the fog

I don't know how I'll live without you

Just that this is what I must do

So this is goodbye, there are no tears in my eyes

Just the warmth of the liqour on my tongue

Where my favorite words used to dance

With you, in that orchard where you'll never find me

Again.