Life Among the Dead

I waded through the deadly shallows before, found them too deep

For running, ten years in a vast swamp

Of misery, only to escape one day

And race headlong to the forest dreary, where I burned a couple years

Wondering why the oppressive dark felt so familiar to me

The sense of deja vu, the retracing of steps through the gloom

And the dead at heart, who dared try to impart

Some semblance of sanity, some fragmented vision

Of what she thought I wanted to see

Mixed with the toxic fumes of what lie discarded from her youth

While I searched the trees for a hint of green

Amongst the black fingers that scratched until my own soul would bleed

I dared think I could change the course of history

By exhaling something sweeter than the air I was forced to breathe

That I could lighten the weight that lingered

From some plague that had ravaged her completely

And as the edge of the forest came into sight

And I saw the first glimpses of light

I wondered if I should even leave

Pondered whether I was capable of escaping

What lingered in my soul after a decade and a half of dreams

Poisoned by the filthy air, of lovers who never dared let the sun touch me

For fear of losing the last living thing

In their own sliver of the world, now I lie here considering

All the beautiful things I've seen

In corners and shadows, in the fog of the broken-minded

Dressed in the dirty sheen of the broken-hearted

I picture them as best I can, without the funeral dress they arrived in

Will I accept the truth if it comes untainted

By the depression of those who know not

How beautiful those spaces are

Between the swamps and deadwood forests

How glorious the trees stand, untouched by the sadness that swells

In the hearts of those who've been infected by their own guilt

How clear the water is, once the silt has settled

And the mist has been diffused

And you could see the reason, that the sun would smile on you

I will find my forest, where the grass grows soft between bare toes

Where the rivers are ripe for drinking

And the sun peers down past green leaves

I will recognize it's beauty, untainted, for having seen yours

Through the distortion of your tears

I have traded years, but I shall leave you with my thanks

That you have left me with this, and when the darkness threatens to smother

I shall only hope you find your path touched

By the light that you've resisted, and know

That after the dead of winter, you are both flowers

Quite capable of blooming.