On His Fourth Escape and Swift Capture

Pray tell, my dear, what happened here?

For a corpse lies before me, and your whisp'ring in my ear

Of Belladonna's sweet sleep, well along that long dream

Oh how she must be comforted now, having nothing to fear

And I could decipher your wicked grin

Or pull apart your fairy tales

But I'd rather watch you spin straw to gold

Than shiver in this prison cold

Pray tell, my dear, have I to fear

For a fortnight before, she was adored

Now lying on the floor, stiff as a board

Did you kiss her before, tell me more

Of the treachery that led to her lying on the floor

Was she a deer in the headlights, when that second taste bit her

Were there muffled accusations, when the pillow compressed her

Tell me more, but not the truth, for if I know you

The lie shall be sweeter

Should we exit stage left, 'fore the detectives request

A night at the station, or a noose round our necks

Pray tell, my dear, what happened here

You're too dainty for the work gang

You'd faint 'fore you dug an inch

Did she fall by your hand, I don't think you should mention that

Seems nat'ral causation, to have led her on this path

Speak not my dear, a rapping at the door I hear

Stern as the devil, firm as a fresh-starched uniform

Surely she fell ill, her heart ne'er did beat

Quite as confidently as it should

And her poor body was frail as an empty egg

See officer, what happened here, well

See, the truth is

She did it, the woman is a murderer

A killer of the worst sort

I tried to stop her, but she threatened I might go first

Not guilty, I am, I even wish she had lived

For I loved my wife more than any, I confess

We got in a row, but I gave my best

To stay that poor deluded girl's hand

Why she may even say we had an affair

Do not believe her deceit, I hardly know her, I swear

I find that difficult to believe

Said the officer to me

And he placed me in cuffs, both hands and both feet

And he whispered to the deputy, whose mouth stayed a grimace

To the asylum with this one, Jim

He's suff'ring delusions

Sir, there's been no murder

You've no wife to kill this time, only illusions

And just then I knew, they were in on it too

The hag surely taunted me from beyond the veil of death

So I played along, seeing no better option

'Til they brought me to a place they swore I lived

Saint Jonah's Hospital for the Criminally Insane

Where they said I belong, kept calling it my home

As if I would set foot in such a wretched looking room

And I whispered to my love, "Do not forget to dust, next time,

The house was so filthy, I could have gone ill

Just breathing.

And next time, maybe explain to the kind uniformed gentlemen

That I am innocent, that you did it

And while you're at it, it might help to sway their opinions

If you dared to inform them of your existence

They seem to be quite certain

It's all in my head.