Intra-cranial Communique

To my friend,
Consciousness.

I had a short trip through your circuits today, found some loose connections, a couple neurons crashing into each other..Most of them were no big deal, really, just thought I'd let you in on your current state of mind. I got the idea from a movie, the one where that guy gets lost in a computer, and there are all these threats and viruses just humming along and devouring innocent thoughts. So I plugged into your mainframe, and needless to say I expected the odd bug here or there.

I didn't expect the slew of hungry programs swallowing up every positive transmission you attempted to process. To be honest, it almost seemed intentional. You know the deal, go through some tough times, maybe turn off your firewall and unwind for a little bit. I know it's nice to just relax sometimes without that overanxious bodyguard monitoring everything you think. We all turn off the security net at some point or another, it's a part of the human interface. If there weren't a neuro-traffic control knob somewhere amongst our incredibly complicated mainframes, the sheer influx of information would be overwhelming.

So, I am getting a little off-topic, what I intended to tell you was that while surfing your internal web, I came across a rather nasty little trojan. A hydra of sorts, and all three heads were dug deep into your central processing unit. I'm no neurosurgeon, and certainly no computer tech, so I thought I'd inform you by e-mail, in the hopes that you could take what you know to a doctor capable of helping you out. The heads of the hydra were quite clearly labeled; Separation Anxiety, Clinical Depression, and Chronic Physical Discomfort. I'm not 100% certain what any of these terms mean, but again, I am no doctor. (I am certain that one could in fact help you, however, this does seem to fall squarely into their domain.)

Anyways, my apologies for trespassing into your neural network, but the effects of said virus had become apparent in your day-to-day activities, and I felt at least partly responsible for notifying you of said effects. Do take care, and I hope this letter finds you in well-enough health to procure a solution to your problem.

Your dear friend,
The Subconscious.

P.S. We really need to get together sometime and discuss what's going on in sub-sector 23. You know EXACTLY what I am talking about.


(This is why you shouldn't take narcotics for something as simple as a toothache, no matter how painful it may be or how insistent hospitals are in overmedicating anyone who shows a hint of discomfort.)